How Do I Find My Value & Self-Worth? 3 Very Important Practices To Keep In Mind– Are you aware of your own value (also known as self-worth)? Some women don’t value themselves enough and they need tough-talking too! You need to be reminded that you are Allah’s creation and therefore the most valuable creation on earth. To hate yourself and do not know your own value, means to not respect Allah and his plan for you. I want to share a few guidelines with you that will help you find your value because knowing your value leads to higher self-awareness and self-esteem. And when you are self-aware, you have the ability to change. The following 3 practices will help you along and explain exactly in what kind of way you need to value yourself.
How Do I Find My Value & Self-Worth? 3 Very Important Practices To Keep In Mind
1. Know that you are intrinsically valuable.
What does intrinsic value mean?
Intrinsic value is a term often used in finance and philosophy. In finance, intrinsic value is a measure of what an asset is worth. This is measured with an objective calculation or financial model, instead of just looking at the stock value. In philosophical terms, intrinsic value is the worth of a ‘thing’ in and of itself, it’s not dependent on anything external only on itself. It’s something we value for itself, not for its consequences. Let me give you an example by comparing something with intrinsic value to something with extrinsic value.
Money has value, don’t you agree? Life is so much easier when you have money. Money can buy you a car, which allows for more autonomy. Money can buy you pleasurable experiences, which make you happy (for a moment). We value money because of what it can do. But imagine that all money in the world lost its value. All the things you could buy before are suddenly not available with your pieces of paper. Because money has extrinsic value, which means that I can lose its value. We have decided it has value, but what if that changes?
Have you heard those stories of mothers who save their children by picking up cars and jumping on train tracks? They suddenly had, what we call, hysterical strenght. This strenght comes from love. Their love for their children, or other people, caused them to do unbelievable things. A mother’s love for her child is inherently intrinsic. Love is intrinsical. Yes, we like the consequences of love, like hugs and kisses, but we would still value love even if it didn’t have these consequences. Even if you’re heart has been broken, even if you lost dear ones, even if you are single, you know the value of love (I hope). Every human being wants to be loved and therefore it has intrinsic value. We value it in and of itself.
You are Allah’s creation
There is no question about it. You are intrinsically valuable. Allah made you and as his creation, you are exactly as he envisioned you to be. Who are you to hate yourself, when Allah, the visionary made you the way you are? We are made of clay and are so valuable that Allah commanded angels to bow to us, his creation! Iblīs refused and claimed that he was worth more since he was created of fire, whereas we were made of clay. This demonstration of disdain and disobedience, caused Allah to throw him out of heaven. So even though you don’t value yourself enough, you are worth bowing to in Allah’s eyes. You have value in and of yourself.
Who you are and what you do are not the same!
I don’t mean that you have value because you are someone’s daughter or partner, or because you are a doctor, a teacher, or a social media influencer. Then you would attain your value to something that you do. You are not what you do! You are what you feel, what you learn, what you know about yourself, who you see, and who loves you. Sister, you’re much more than what you offer in a physical sense. Your soul is what’s valuable. When you value yourself and have a sense of self-worth, you protect yourself from manipulators and
2. Have a faith mindset & have some self-worth!
There are a few things that will happen once you finally know your own self-worth The first thing that will happen once you know your own self-worth, is that you won’t sell yourself short anymore. There are two mindsets you can have when it comes to value. On the one hand, you can have a mindset of faith and on the other hand, you can have a mindset of fear.
The fear mindset = insecurity & scarcity
Sisters, how often do we make a choice because we are afraid nothing better will come along? When we make choices based on fear, our choices are based on scarcity. We think that there’s not enough to go around and therefore which choose to get the next best thing. It’s like wanting to buy a certain thing in a store, but not finding the exact thing you were looking for and then just grabbing something that is kind of similar but not what you came for. This often happens with relationships as well. Sometimes we give men a chance and settle for men that are far below our standards!
The faith mindset = self-worth & value
A mindset of Faith, on the other hand, is not focused on scarcity but its counterpart abundance. A mindset of faith is what every Classy Muslim sister should have! When we trust in Allah and believe that he will give us plenty, that we have value and that we deserve abundance then that is what we will get! Sisters, when you don’t settle for the first option when you are choosy when you have high standards and know your own boundaries, you know that you have found your own self-worth. Whatever your standards or boundaries are, they differ from woman to woman, when you have them stand by them! They protect you and you’ll see that people will respect you for it.
Only prove yourself to Allah and yourself
Many cultures have this phenomenon going on, wherein people want to prove themselves to others. Giving out their respect based on what others accomplish in life, what car do you drive, or what job they have. So many people try to prove themselves to others in their community, but that’s not what we’re supposed to do! The only one we have to prove our worth to is Allah! We have to prove our worth as human beings, as Muslims, as loyal servants to him. Sisters, don’t ever seek approval from anyone but Allah. The second person you are allowed to seek approval from is yourself. When you know what you are capable of and when you know what you can become, you cant waste your time on not doing everything you can to achieve it! Prove yourself to yourself and not to anyone else!
3. Stop being desperate!
People do to you, what you allow them to do to you
Sisters, when you know your own value and self-worth you set up boundaries for yourself and you set up standards for other people who want to hang out with you. Boundaries are key to being respected and ultimately in living a happy life. They keep you protected because boundaries keep people from harming you. I will give you a little example: I used to be friends with this girl who was a bit jealous of me. She would never be mean but sometimes she could be petty and spiteful. But when she was not in a mood, we would have amazing fun together. But then she overstepped a boundary of mine. I had graduated from college and was so happy! Once I told her my amazing news she answered:
That’s good, but honey, it’s not that big of an accomplishment! Everyone can graduate from that college!
A person that is not happy for me, a person that can be this spiteful about one of my proudest accomplishments is not someone I would ever want to call a friend. Needless to say, I decided we were better off as acquaintances and not as a friend.
People treat you, the way you treat yourself
Sisters, it is very important to remember that people won’t respect you if you do not respect yourself! Imagine you have a beautiful house, It’s big, it’s clean, it’s nice, it’s basically your dream house! When you go inside your house, you take off your shoes. When you invite a company, they see the cleanliness of your house and see that you take your shoes off inside. As expected, they will behave accordingly! They will take their shoes off and won’t bring any dirt inside. Now imagine a downright filthy house. Everywhere you look around there’s garbage and dirt. When you walk inside your home, you still take off your shoes, but do you think anyone else will? The way you treat yourself, your ‘home’, your self-worth, gives people an indication of how they should treat you. So if you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect others to?
Many people will not meet your standards and that is alright
Sisters, not everyone will meet your standards and that is okay. When you have standards, you will automatically stop hanging out with people that do not meet those standards. If you could still hang out with everyone, your standards would not be standards, but guidelines. An example: My standard is that people I hang out with should be kind. I used to have this acquaintance, who could have been a future friend. We decided to grab some coffee together. Once we got there, I saw how she treated the waiter. She was mean, impatient, rude and even called him names. When I called her out on her rude behaviour, she turned cold. The moment I saw how she treated other people, I decided that I did not want to be her friends with a person that did not meet my standard of being kind towards others.
Why you need to find your self-worth
When you know your value, your self-worth, you automatically become more high-value. If you live with a fear mindset, you’ll be desperate, insecure and always think of your life filled with scarcity. A faith mindset, on the other hand, is one that creates abundance and self-awareness. When you are self-aware, you can change what you don’t like about yourself. You can become the feminine self you are supposed to be and you can evaluate who you are as a person. This is practically impossible when you are trying to get people to like you and try to please them all the time. We need to accept that not everybody will like us and that’s ok! We won’t die because our neighbours’ goldfish doesn’t like us. Sisters, this is the beginning of your feminine rediscovery.
Your Classy Muslim Sister helps you find your value
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Your Classy Muslim Sister