The 3rd Wife of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH): Aisha bint Abu Bakr

Who was the 3rd wife of the Prophet Muhammed? The beloved 3rd wife of the Prophet was Aisha bint Abu Bakr. She was a spirited woman who was known to be an extremely intelligent scholar of Islam. She is credited for narrating more than 2000 hadiths in her lifetime. Aisha is seen as personifying an early Islamic idealization of women as the social and legal equality of men. While she was incredible and just as important as the other people who have helped the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) with spreading the message of Islam, somehow the women in his life who have helped him are not talked about often enough. In this series: The Mother of Believers, we will talk about every wife the Prophet has married and hopefully, we will do them justice. So let’s talk about Aisha bint Abu Bakr and what her life was like. 

Who was Aisha?

1.1 Aisha’s early life and personality

As the daughter of Abu Bakr, one of the Prophet’s closest friends and supporters, Aisha bint Abi Bakr was raised as a Muslim while most of the close companions were converts to Islam. Her favourite pastime as a young girl was playing with her dolls. From a young age, Aisha had a mind like a computer. We can assume that she was blessed with hyperthymesia, which is a rare condition in which someone possesses a superior autobiographical memory and can recall the vast majority of personal experiences and events in their lives! Not only was Aisha intelligent and sharp-witted, but she was also described as being very beautiful. She is described as tenderhearted, modest and pious and apparently broke easily into tears as a young girl

1.2 Aisha as a Muslim

Her young age and intelligence were put to good use. Much of her time as the Prophet’s wife was spent on the learning and acquiring knowledge of the two most important sources of God’s guidance, the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet. She is credited for narrating more than 2000 hadiths in her lifetime. That makes her one of the only seven noble Muslims who attributed more than thousands of hadiths. In this list, she is the only woman.

Aisha is seen as personifying an early Islamic idealization of women as the social and legal equality of men. Many companions of the Prophet and their followers benefitted from Aishah’s knowledge. Abu Musa al-Ashari once said: “If we companions of the Messenger of God had any difficulty on a matter, we asked Aisha about it.”

Companions of the Prophet would ask her for advice about inheritance, which required a highly skilled mathematical mind. Many scholars regard her as one of the earliest teachers of Islam. Even the Prophet referred to her incredible knowledge of Islam and is reported to have said: “Learn a portion of your religion (deen) from this red coloured lady.” “Humayra” was a term the Prophet had given Aisha, which translates to “Red-coloured”

The 3rd wife of the Prophet was one of only three wives of the Prophet Muhammad (the other two being Hafsa bint Umar and Umm Salama) who memorized the entire Quran. 

1.3 Aisha was a teacher and a politician

Aisha took an active part in education and social reform. She was clear and persuasive in her speech and her way of words has been described by al-Ahnaf who said: 

“I have heard speeches of Abu Bakr and Umar, Uthman and Ali and the Khulafa up to this day, but I have not heard speech more persuasive and more beautiful from the mouth of any person than from the mouth of Aisha.”

Many came from far and wide to benefit from her knowledge. Her house became a school and an academy. Due to her knowledge of Quran and Sunnah/Hadith, she also became involved in the politics of early Islam and the first three caliphate reigns. This was during a time when women were not expected nor wanted, to contribute outside the household. She delivered public speeches, became involved in a war and even lead troops!

1. During the 1st Caliphate of her father Abu Bakr Siddiq (R.A.), Aisha (R.A.) was honoured with titles ‘Al-Siddiqa bint Al-Siddiq’ (the truthful woman, daughter of the truthful man). 
2. In the time of the 2nd Caliphate of Umar Ibn Khattab (R.A.), Aisha (R.A.) continued to play the role of a consultant in political matters.
3. During the 3rd Caliphate of Uthman ibn Affan (R.A.), Aisha (R.A.) had little involvement with him for the first years but found a way into the politics of his reign.
4. After the 4th Caliphate of Ali ibn Talib (R.A.), Aisha (R.A.) having fought wars against Ali, retired from her public role in politics and became a teacher in Madinah.

1.4 Aisha and women’s rights

The time before Islam was referred to as the Era of Jahiliyya (the Age of Ignorance). It was not unusual for women to have no say in who they would marry. They sometimes were forced by their fathers or their families. Many women asked Aisha for advice about these issues in their lives and also about marriage. Aisha had heard that a girl was unhappy that her father was forcing her to have an arranged marriage. She brought this up to the Prophet who for the first time, established that it’s a woman’s own choice if she wants to marry someone. 

Aisha was once accused of adultery when a male army member rescued her while she was unknowingly left behind, searching for her sister’s lost necklace which she had lost in the desert during an army caravan journey back to Medina. Rumours started to spread quickly and the 3rd wife of the Prophet reportedly shed tears about the slander against her. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) received a revelation, which today is known as surah an-Nur. This revelation confirmed Aisha’s purity and warned those that took part in the slander. Surah an-Nur established that it is not allowed to accuse anyone of adultery unless there are four witnesses to the effect:

“Why did they not produce four witnesses (in support of the accusation?) Now that they have not produced witnesses, it is indeed they who are the liars in God’s sight. (an-Nur 24:13)

Some people think that Muslim women are not allowed to go outside, Aisha and the other wives of the Prophets disprove this assumption. Aisha was a courageous woman. It was not unheard off that she would go the front line of the battlefield alongside her husband to help care for the wounded soldiers.

2. The Prophet Muhammed and his 3rd wife Aisha

2.1 How old was Aisha when she became the Prophet’s 3rd wife?

Aisha’s age has become a huge topic in the 20th century. First, of, I want to state that her age is based on speculation. Since there was no official registration of births at the time that Aisha was born, her date of birth, and therefore the date of marriage, cannot be stated with certainty! Her age is also not mentioned in the Qur’an. The discussions about her age at marriage rely on hadith. I found this wonderful article that dives deeper into this discussion.

To give a summary of their research: The preferred opinion based on numerous evidence is that Aisha was born four years before the prophetic mission. This means that the Prophet was engaged to her in the tenth year of the prophetic mission when she was fourteen years old. This was three years before the migration. According to this evidence, the Prophet consummated the marriage with Aisha around the end of the first year after the migration. This means that Aisha was almost eighteen years old when they consummated their marriage.  

2.2 How did the Prophet and Aisha meet?

Aisha bint Abu Bakr (R.A.) narrated:

‘Allah’s Messenger (S.A.W.) said (to me), “You were shown to me twice in (my) dream. Behold, a man (Angel) was carrying you in a silken piece of cloth and said to me, “She is your wife, so uncover her,’ and behold, it was you. I would then say (to myself), ‘If this is from Allah, then it must happen. ” ‘  (Sahih Bukhari: 7011)

2.3 What was the Prophet’s and Aisha’s marriage like?

Aisha is well known for being the Prophet’s favourite wife after Khadijah. She was his third and only non-widowed wife who was also a virgin.  Her marriage to the Prophet strengthened the relationship between her father and her husband. 

Hadith narrated by Amr bin Al-A’as (R.A.), who said:

‘I once asked the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.): “Who is the most beloved of the people to you?”  He (S.A.W.) said: “‘Aishah.”  I, once again, asked: “From the men?” He said: “Her father. (Abu Bakr Siddiq)”

Aisha was the only woman with whom the Prophet Muhammad received revelations. They bathed in the same water and he prayed while she would lay stretched out in front of him. As they grew older together, their love grew as well. Once Aisha asked the Prophet what his love for her was like. He would answer: “Like the rope’s knot”. It was strong and bending, capable of holding everything together and the more you tug, the stronger it gets. Sometimes she would playfully ask him “how’s the knot” and he would laugh and say “As strong as it has always been”. 

The Prophet was a loving husband. Aisha talked about the times when she enjoyed meals with him. She would sit next to him a drink from one cup. The prophet would watch where she placed her lips and then place his lips on the same exact place. She would eat meat or chicken and again, he watched where she ate from and place his lips there. Sometimes he placed morsels of food into her mouth and she would do the same for him. 

Aisha could be jealous of the Prophet’s other wives

The Prophet did not prevent Aisha from speaking her mind, sometimes at the risk of angering him. Once,  the Prophet received the revelation permitting him to enter into marriages which were not allowed to other men. Aisha answered with a clever retort, ‘It seems to me your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire!'” Aisha had a healthy amount of jealousy since women are in nature, competitive beings. She was jealous of Khadija bint Khuwaylid, the Prophet’s first wife, saying, 

“I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadija though I did not see her, the Prophet used to mention her very often, and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut its parts and send them to the women friends of Khadija. When I sometimes said to him, “(You treat Khadija in such a way) as if there is no woman on earth except Khadija,” he would say, “Khadija was such-and-such, and from her I had children.”

3. What can we learn from the 3rd wife of the Prophet?

We can learn much from Aisha. She was a wonderful wife, a teacher of Islam, a strong-willed politician and a champion for women’s rights. We can all agree that Aisha is an example of Muslim women all around the world. She was very accomplished and remember by many, next to Khadija (the Prophet’s 1st wife) and Fatima (the Prophet’s daughter). What I do want to shine an extra light on, is the fact that Aisha did not have any children with the Prophet. Often a woman’s worth is related to her fertility and her ability to give her husband children. The Prophet loved Aisha, without the added bonus of children, meaning that Muslim women can live accomplished lives without having children.

This is not me telling you to not have children sister! If you and your future partner want children, I hope Allah blesses you with all the children you wish for! We are however taught that bearing children is a duty. But the Prophet’s and Aisha’s relationship proves that children do not necessarily make a successful marriage. You can be happy without children! It is, however, important to be upfront about your wishes with your future partner. So if you ever asked yourself “Is it mandatory in Islam to have children”, do not worry. Most women will want children, but for those who do not, you are not commanded by Allah to have children since it is not stated in the Quran. You can live accomplished lives in any (Islamic) way you wish!

4. Who were the Prophet’s other wives?

The Prophet married 11 wives in total (although there are some discussions on the exact number). 

1. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid 
2. Sawdah bint Zam’a 
3. Aisha bint Abu Bakr 
4. Hafsah bint Umar ibn Al-Khattab
5. Zaynab bint Khuzaymah
6. Umm Salamah bint Abu Umayyah
7. Juwayriyah bint al-Haarith 
8. Zaynab bint Jahsh 
9. Umm Habibah bint Abu Sufyan
10. Safiyyah bint Huyayy ibn Akhtab 
11. Maymunah bint al-Haarith

I talk about the other women in the category “Mother of Believers“. If you want to know more, please have a look! Do you want to help the other Muslim sisters in your life acquire more knowledge on this topic? Share my blog with them and follow me on Social Media!

Kisses,

Your Classy Muslim Sister

Sources

• Ibn Kathir: Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). (z.d.). Islam Awareness. retrieved 6 December 2020, van https://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html
• Qutb, M. (z.d.). Women Around the Messenger, retrieved 6 December 2020, van https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7246644-women-around-the-messenger?rating=5
• Ghadanfar, M. (n.d.). Great Women of Islam. Great Women of Islam Who Were given the Good News of Paradise. Retrieved 6 December 2020, from https://files2.shewaya.com/files/67868.pdf
• https://www.islamicfinder.org/knowledge/biography/story-of-aisha-bint-abi-bakr/
• https://www.islamweb.net/prophet/index.php?page=showarticle&id=16766
• http://arrayaan.com/aicha
• http://www.jannah.org/sisters/aishah.html
• https://yaqeeninstitute.org/arnold-yasin-mol/aisha-ra-the-case-for-an-older-age-in-sunni-hadith-scholarship