Beauty and attractiveness are in the eye of the beholder, most people would agree on that. But that isn’t completely true! There are certain traits that we notice first in others, men and women! A lot of what we find attractive is inseparably linked to cultural norms, and for Muslims, Christians and other believers also linked to religious ones. There are a few physical things that determine a person’s attractiveness biologically. You may have asked yourself “What does an attractive Muslimah look like?
For example, it is common to be attracted to people who would make the best genetic match for us. Meaning that they are fertile and that they have good genes. Also important to know, Allah made us in a way that we complement each other so even our immune systems are part of the attraction. By being with someone healthy, who complements us and has good genes, we can have families with the best possible chance of survival in life. Let’s take a look at 7 things Muslim men notice first in women and what Muslim men find attractive in a Muslimah. By knowing these things, you can set yourself up to have the best possible match in the future In Sha Allah.
Tip 1. An attractive Muslimah smiles
How often have you heard this saying and how often is it the number one on a list about what men find attractive? Every.Single.Time. Why? Because it is the easiest and most obvious thing men find attractive. It really isn’t that hard to wrap our heads around. When you walk past people in the street, you’ll like the ones with a kind smile more than those that have resting sour face. Call it common sense. Smiling makes us more attractive! We are naturally drawn to people who smile and there is a physical attraction factor linked to smiling. Frowns, scowls, grimaces and other negative faces do the opposite and push people away.
Not only that, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) teaches us that smiling is part of being a good Muslim. (Jami Tirmidhi).
“Smiling in the face of your brother is a charity (Sadaqah) “
Abdullah ibn Harith said:
“I never came across a person who smiled as much as Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
So in summary, if you have a resting sour face, you need to work on it. You may be an attractive Muslimah, sister, but if you scare well-intended men away, you’ll end up alone. If that is what you want, all the power to you. But if not, remember that men only have one glance to look at you until they lower their gaze and do you really want that one glance of your face to be a frown? Some women wear the Niqab, which means that you can’t see the mouth, but it’s all in the eyes! You know when someone smiles genuinely when you take a look at their eyes, it’s an instinct almost. But if you want to know the telltale sign of a smile, it’s the crinkles around the eyes.
Tip 2. Modesty, a.k.a not being desperate
Modesty has become a touchy subject. We all practice Islam in our own way as is our right! That, however, leaves room for different interpretations of modesty. Some men prefer that their wife wears the Niqab, others are okay with almost anything as long as it’s not in front of their parents. Islam has very clear rules on what’s allowed, let’s not kid ourselves. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to practice modesty in a way you can be consistent with.
6 criteria for Hijab according to Qur’an and Sunnah
If we are going to be very strict and Islamic about this, there are six criteria for Hijab according to Qur’an and Sunnah:
- For women, the extent of covering obligatory is to cover the complete body except for the face and the hands up to the wrist. The extent of covering obligatory on the male is to cover the body at least from the navel to the knees.
- Your clothes should be loose and not reveal your figure.
- The clothes you wear should not be transparent such that others can see through them.
- Your clothes should not be so glamorous as to attract the opposite sex.
- The clothes you wear should not resemble that of the opposite sex.
- Your clothes should not resemble that of the unbelievers, so no crosses on your dresses or anything of that sort.
Modesty for me
For me, modesty is wearing the hijab without hair sticking out. But I love tailored clothes that accentuate my waistline. Is that 100% modest as Islam demands? No. But it is a form of modesty I can be consistent with. Most importantly is that you are not desperate in the way you clothe yourself. For me being desperate would be to wear incredibly tight jeans that leave nothing to the imagination. For another girl who has a different interpretation of modesty, those pants are fine! But she would never wear heals because of the sound… Just like modesty is different for everyone, desperateness is too. You know when you are trying too hard and when you are being desperate. Try to be aware of when it happens and find out what triggered it. Reflect on it and better yourself!
Tip 3. Good skin, a.k.a healthy skin
Men and women are programmed to find healthy appearances beautiful. One of the physical traits that provide a big clue to your overall health is your skin. Healthy skin is bright and glowy. Clear and smooth skin signal good health and vitality. Acne therefore does not look healthy. I used to struggle with acne a lot until I went to see a dermatologist and a doctor. A big cause of my acne was my bad habits. I used to only sleep 5 hours, drink no water, consume fast food every day and I was overweight. There are many more things I did that added to hormonal imbalance which is the breeding ground for acne.
What I am trying to say is… I get it. Acne sucks, and for some of us, it is purely genetic. Puberty is a big part of our lives and it is perfectly normal to have acne on your face during this time. Hormonal imbalance, rapid change in your life and stress all work together to create the volcanos on your face. If you are between the ages of 18 – 22 I wouldn’t worry about acne. It often fixes itself if you take care of yourself, have a skincare routine and puberty is over. But if you notice that after puberty, your face is still full of acne, it is time to see a dermatologist. By the way, your period pimples don’t count as acne once they leave after!
Tip 4. An attractive Muslimah has good hygiene
This one is self-explanatory (I hope). Hygiene helps you prevent diseases and staying healthy. Personal hygiene aims at grooming your body externally and maintaining cleanliness through daily activities. And it has social benefits as well. Don’t you feel so much better when you look and smell good? That, in turn, gives you confidence and may help with your self-esteem. Islam stresses the importance of good hygiene on multiple occasions:
Allah loves those who purify themselves. (Quran 9: 108)
Cleanliness is half of faith. (Muslim, Taharat, 1)
The key to prayer is purity (Abu Dawud, Salaat, 31)
Without purity, prayer is not accepted. (Muslim, Taharat, 2)
The Prophet (PBUH) paid attention to all forms of hygiene throughout his life. For example, when he went to the mosque or visited a friend, he would make sure that he was dressed properly, that he smelled nice, and that he had not eaten unpleasant smelling foods such as onions and garlic. Once while the Prophet (PBUH) was in the mosque, a man entered who looked unkempt. The Prophet (PBUH) motioned to him to straighten his hair and beard. I will write a lengthy article on hygiene for Muslim women but for now, start with these tips:
- Make sure your hands are always clean. No dirt under your nails, no warts, no ink from your pen. Just simple clean hands! Keep your nail length short and opt for nude nails or something classy like a french manicure.
- Smell nice. You need to make sure that you ALWAYS smell nice. If you want to wear a shirt but it smells bad, then DON’T WEAR THAT SHIRT. Wash your body regularly. Thankfully, performing the washing before prayer, Wudu, helps us Muslims a lot. If you know that you tend to sweat, then take a washcloth and go over your armpits with water. Make sure you use deodorant! I personally use perfume as well, but I know that some Muslim sisters question if it’s permissible. I’ll need to research more on that…
- Dental care is so important. A smile is a beautiful thing and one of our greatest assets. That’s why it’s important to take care of your teeth! Bad breath, tooth decay, gum diseases won’t be a problem if you take the time to properly brush your teeth, floss daily, use a tongue brush now and then and hey, mouthwash and a pack of gum (or mints) go a long way!
Tip 5. A healthy weight is a perfect weight.
Unpopular opinion: being overweight is not okay (unless it’s because of medical reasons) Let’s start with the fact that gluttony is a cardinal sin in a lot of religions, not only Islam. If you eat too much and become fat because of this, you are not taking care of the body Allah gave to you. Being fat is not exactly haram. Something is only haram if it is clearly stated as such. However, if you eat to the point that you become a bed-ridden slob, you are causing your body harm which is haram! Obesity caused by side effects of medication, endocrinology, or other medical reasons is not haram. Not only that, according to Dr Jorge Plutzky, director of preventive cardiology at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital, the latest science is quite clear that excess weight can carry considerable health risks, including a higher risk for heart attack and strokes.
Ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
“The believer eats in one stomach whilst the kaafir eats in seven.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5081) and Muslim (2060).
Let’s circle back to the fact that when we look for future partners, we look for good genes, complementary immune systems and great health. It wouldn’t be outrageous to assume that men (and women) would then like people who have healthy body weight for their height. A healthy MBI is between 18.5 and 24.9. Use this BMI calculator to see if you have a healthy BMI for your height. You’ll look and feel better, I promise. An attractive Muslimah is a healthy Muslimah.
Tip 6. The eyes, chico, they never lie.
Psychologist Daniel Gill, of the University of Winchester in Hampshire, looked at how people judged a face from individual features, such as eyes, nose, lips and hair. This study found that both men and women rate a person’s eyes as more important than any other facial feature when it comes to finding a potential partner. Each person’s eyes are unique, including eye colour, shape and overall appearance. It’s why when people try to mask their identity, a black bar is added on top of the eyes. You may ask yourself “do I have beautiful eyes?”.
What is considered ‘beautiful’ depends on the country, the culture and the latest trends you as a person and we as a society perceive as beautiful. The shape of your eyes, as well as the colour, the length of your lashes, the shape and skin tone of your facial eye sockets and also the shape, size, and curvature of your eyebrows, can influence the overall look. What is ‘fashionable’ today, is the classic almond shape with longer curved lashes completed by full eyebrows. Think of Angelina Jolie and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Green and blue eyes are appreciated because they are less usual, but many cultures love deep, dark brown eyes as well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?
Find out what kind of eye shape you have and accentuate the beauty in them. What colour make-up looks best with your eye colour and how do your eyebrows frame your eyes? Ask your friends or ask a make-up artist for her personal opinion. An attractive Muslimah knows what looks best on her!
Tip 7. An attractive Muslimah oozes confidence
Last, but not least, confidence finally makes its appearance. You knew this one was going to be in there right. Confidence is built up by different aspects. Feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and your mind (basically your self-esteem) and your beliefs in your own ability, skills and experience all make up your confidence. And when someone is truly confident, it shows. It’s attractive because it shows a certain kind of stability and trust not many people have. A future article will tell you how you can seem more confident!
Do it for you first (men come second)
Yes, the title of this blog is “7 Things Muslim Men Notice First In Women & Find Attractive” but honestly, it is more so about becoming a better version of you. You don’t need a Muslim man to like you, you need yourself to like YOU. YOU can be an attractive Muslimah! The rest is secondary. Smiling will automatically make you feel better and happier! Being modest will protect you against many people who don’t want the best for you. Taking good care of your skin whilst your young is going to show when you are older. Basic hygiene is going to keep you healthy and making sure you have a healthy weight will save you from future diseases many obese people struggle with. Knowing your eye shape will help you in your beautifying routine and confidence is the cherry on top to a full life.
Do you want to learn more about this topic? Then make sure you check the tags and the category Self-Love, and Elegance. Or you can follow me on my social media account to get an update every time a need blog is posted. I also write about Modesty, love and more if you are interested! Do you want to help the other Muslim sisters in your life on their journey to becoming a High-value Muslim sister? Then share my blog with them and follow me on Social Media!
Your Classy Muslim Sister