6 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Chase A Man NEVER – We all want to be loved, it’s human nature so, in theory, there’s nothing wrong about that! However, a problem does arise when we become desperate. Because desperation reeks and makes us do things that are, simply put, embarrassing. One of those things is chasing a man. Something that now is seen as normal, because it’s happening so much more. It says enough about the man who is willing to be chased but even more about the woman doing the chasing. This is what we call role reversal. I’m going to share 6 reasons why you should NEVER chase a man and a little more information about what role reversal entails.
6 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Chase A Man NEVER
1. Chase a man and it allows for role reversal
There are certain traditional roles that come with being a man or a woman. Allah has given us certain rights and duties as women and as men. Role reversal happens when we start switching things up, and not in a good way (it can be exciting in the bedroom though). The man ‘hunts’ and the woman is pursued. That’s how it used to be. As a woman, you never had to worry about a man really being interested in you, if he was willing to chase. Nowadays, fewer and fewer men are willing to chase, because the woman is okay with doing it for them!
So, where does the role reversal stop? You’ll be the breadwinner? Pay all the bills, buy your man everything he wants? Coddle him like an adoptive son instead of an adult man who can take care of you and your children (if you want/have them)? A masculine man would not feel comfortable with role reversal and that includes you chasing him. You’re taking the hunt out of it, and a masculine man will never really feel satisfied with something that he has not worked for. Something that comes too easy always feels a bit off. Undeserved…
2. It disturbs the balance between Yin & Yang
The woman being Ying and the man being Yang. We are supposed to complement each other. We do that by pulling and pushing. Soft and hard, cold and hard, feminine and masculine. It’s supposed to be a dance, and when both the man and the woman are trying to lead a dance, it looks sloppy, uncoordinated, and just a hot mess. Many women and men don’t know their roles anymore and it shows in how we date. If you chase and become desperate, you’ll lose the game before it begins. You just tipped the scale and not in your favor.
Want to know more about Yin & Yang? GOOP explains more about the concept.
3. Pursuing a man makes you seem desperate
Desperation stinks. It is often the reason behind poor decision-making and accompanies the poor outcomes that come from acting with desperate impulses. Desperation is almost always driven by fear. Anxiety and negative thoughts can give rise to the need of finding any solution to silence the noise. The intention behind desperation is to provide some peace or comfort. It never does though. When you chase a man, it means you’re at that point of desperation. You believe that if you don’t chase, you won’t find someone. Or worse, you like someone so much, but they are completely uninterested in you, which makes you even more desperate for that person.
Desperation sets up neediness, makes you seek attention, and crave drama. It creates intense and uncomfortable feelings. Not a good look for anyone, especially a feminine woman. Once you start chasing a man and become desperate, you’ll slowly lose your own respect and value. If you’ve ever felt desperate, you’ll know that it’s not a great feeling. And how will you feel once you get the man you’ve been chasing? Knowing that he didn’t like you enough to chase you. That you had to do all the courting. Proving yourself to him, instead of the other way around. Do you want a relationship like that? One that you’ll never be sure of would have happened if you weren’t desperate enough?
4. Chasing a man will break your heart in the long run
You got him, the man you’ve been chasing. Are you really happy about it though? Because you know, deep down, if he really liked you, he would have gone after you. It’s harsh but true. If a man does not show ANY interest, it often means that he isn’t interested. If he were, he would have at least tried to court you.
“But he is so shy!”
There are men that are shy and uncomfortable around women. I get that and that’s valid. When I say that he should chase you, I don’t mean literally running after you, and you know that. Just him at least trying to show you that he is interested in you. Multiple glances your way, trying to talk you, leaning into you while talking to you, directing his feet and body toward you, making eye contact, raising his eyebrows, bragging about himself to make you more interested in him, fussing over his clothes so he’ll look for you, smiling at you. These are just a few things that even shy guys can do to show you that they are interested in you.
Coming back to my point. If you are with a man, and you had to do everything you could to get with that man, does that make you feel loved and wanted? If you had to break a sweat for him and pursue him, then that will be your future as well. You’ll always be the one chasing in the relationship. In the long run, it will eat you up. This is the foundation you built, this is your future. You’ll always think, if I didn’t go after him, we never would have been. And that says enough. We want to be loved and wanted. If you chase, you’re not getting that. This might hurt, but sister, if a man doesn’t chase you, he doesn’t want you enough. You deserve better than that.
5. Chasing men results in more competition for women
Women, by nature, are competitive. Even the wives of our Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) struggled with jealousy. Then again, we are talking about the Prophet, so there is no real comparison between and the men of this day and age, but the fact remains. Women can be just as jealous, possessive, and competitive as men when it comes to matters of the heart. This is why we nowadays have so-called ‘side chicks’. But side chicks are nothing new! It’s just the new term for a mistress or kept woman.
When women start chasing, it creates an environment of desperation and it makes men lazy. We’re competing against each other, for men that aren’t even worth competing for! They, in turn, think they’re worth something and will continue to ‘get’ women while doing the bare minimum *which is just being a man*. Stop competing in a game that is rigged against us. Men will always win when we compete for them. The only way to win is to not play their game at all.
6. Chase a man and it will keep you from your feminine energy
Feminine energy is a beautiful thing if you can use it well. Being a feminine woman means knowing you’re the prize. You are the best possible thing he can get. A woman who respects herself and is willing to walk away shows that she is the prize. Walking away from a man, an argument, anything. The person who knows that they are the prize will know that there are better things around for them. It’s an understanding, an attitude you need to learn that starts with finding your own value.
A feminine woman is not easy. She is not desperate and will not think twice about moving on if the other party is not up to her standards. Masculine men enjoy a challenge, it’s why they love sports and competition so much. Look at it as if were a game. Men play it like football, there’s a goal, and the ball has to go through it. If they win, they get you. But feminine women need to look at it like chess. It’s long-term thinking that separates us from men.
Let’s play by our own rules
Remain a mystery, make sure he never really knows where he stands with you. You’re special and he knows it. You’re difficult and that will make it so much better if he wins you over. He will spend time on you, thinking of how to get you. You know your own value and he is drawn to that. Men notice your absence more than your presence, so use that. A man will feel lucky to have you, once the hunting part is over. If you chase him, this whole game has not been played. And we all know how much men love to play games with women. It’s time we start playing by our own rules.
Do you agree with Your Classy Muslim Sister?
I believe you should never chase a man. I think it’s more often than not, degrading for women to run after men. Having said that, there are some instances where making the first move is not a bad thing. Notice how I said ‘first move’ instead of chasing? Because there is a difference. If you chase, you are really pursuing. That’s something I strongly advise against. Making the first move, however, is not a bad thing. You showing someone you’re interested in when that person is shy might be how you end up with a loving husband. 1. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid proposed the idea of marriage to our Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) and they were together for 20 years. Then again, no man is like the Prophet (PBUH).
Want to read more about love? Or do you want to know more about Self Love, Elegance, and Modesty? Go ahead and look around the tags or go to the homepage for more blogs. Did you enjoy this blog and do you want to share it with others? Then share my blog with them and follow me on Social Media!
Kisses,
Your Classy Muslim Sister
Leave a Reply